Therapy for Your Teen – FAQs
Below is a series of frequently asked questions from parents in the community, along with answers from our experienced adolescent therapists.
How do I know if my teen is going through a normal phase or if it is more severe than that?
Trust your gut! You know your child best, and if you think there may be a problem, getting support and guidance from a professional is always best. It is better to address a potential problem than to ignore it. Often, much more happens than a parent knows (particularly with teenagers). Lastly, ask your child’s teachers/coaches what they think. Ask your child’s siblings what they see happening at school. If you feel comfortable, ask the parents of your child’s friend how they see your child. These people can provide a lot of good information and may know things you were unaware of.
How do I bring up the topic of therapy with my teen?
You will probably be surprised that your child knows much more about therapy than you think! They likely even have a friend in treatment, whether or not they have shared that with you.
One suggestion is to pick a low-key time of the day (maybe bedtime) and say, “Jack, I love you very much, and I have noticed that you seem (behavior or feeling) lately. I found a therapist I want us to see to discuss how we can help you feel better. Her job is to help kids and teenagers with any problems they might be having and to help come up with solutions. Let’s try a couple of sessions, and you tell me what you think of her. You can tell her things that might be hard for you to tell us. What you tell her stays between the two of you. After the session, we can get some hot chocolate or dinner.”
Most of the time, this approach works. If it doesn’t, and your child/teen is very resistant, you can tell them that although their opinion is essential, the ultimate decision is up to you. Often, if they had a physical problem, they would have no choice but to take an antibiotic. Mental/emotional health is just as important as physical health. Maybe you could offer that they can “earn” something for being cooperative and attending therapy (later bedtime or an extra book for young children, later rest or a small toy for older children, and an extended curfew or an article of clothing for teens).
Once they come, most kids and teens are happy they did and enjoy therapy!
Why won’t my child talk to me? What’s wrong with me?
Don’t take it personally! Sometimes kids and parents just butt heads. Other times, our kids go through a phase of pushing us away. Additionally, it can be very uncomfortable to talk to a parent about specific topics. It does NOT mean that your child/teen does not love you or have a strong connection with you. Often, it is easier to talk to someone outside their “inner circle” and less emotionally involved. It feels good to hear that the therapist knows “lots” of other kids/teens who have experienced the same thing!
What type of therapy works best for teens?
First, the most essential part of any therapeutic relationship is the “connection” that the therapist and client develop. Without this trusting relationship, no work can be done. Your therapist will work hard (but play it “cool”) to establish a strong relationship with your child/teen at the beginning of therapy. This may mean they don’t get to the “meat” of the problem immediately. Be patient. Children or teens will only open up to someone who comes at them with 100 questions and suggestions in the first session. Remember that they may be skeptical about coming in the first place.
CBT
Once this trusting relationship is established, the most common type of therapy child therapists use is cognitive-behavioral therapy. This is often called “stinkin’ thinkin’ “or “thinking errors.” Cognitive/behavioral therapy addresses the relationship between what you think and how you feel and act. For example, if we have teenagers who think, “I never look as good as my friends at school.” In turn, they feel sad and worthless. Although the thought “I never look as good as my friends” may happen so quickly that the teen doesn’t even recognize she is saying it to herself, it dramatically affects how she feels about herself.
If we were working with this teenager, we might help her be aware of her thoughts and come up with alternative, more positive ways to think about herself. For example, she may not dress like all the girls at school, but she might have a cool, unique style. Another thought could be, “I may not be the best dressed, but I get a lot of compliments on what I wear, and I think I look good.” These “thoughts” would most likely change how she “feels.”
Mindfulness
Some other ways to help children/teens become more aware of how their thoughts affect their feelings and behaviors could be through keeping a journal, doing exercises out of a workbook that the therapist recommends, deep breathing exercises, guided imagery, being involved in healthy activities that keep your mind busy, helping others, exercising, healthy eating, and more.
Strengths-Based
Another model that we like to use is the “strengths-based” model. This model focuses on each individual’s unique strengths and how drawing from these abilities can make a person feel more competent and less “pathologized.” Instead of only dwelling on “problems,” this approach has the therapist remind the person of their strengths and how they can help them solve current problems and facilitate recovery. We like this approach because people often learn to ignore what they are “good at” and focus only on what they need to “fix.” This approach can help teach a child to be more positive and resilient. Ultimately, we strive to provide a comfortable, supportive atmosphere to maximize the potential for positive change.
Family Therapy
Family therapy may be recommended to address family concerns (the whole family, just siblings, or just parents). We may have another therapist do the family therapy sessions, so I am not the “bad guy” to your child.
Group Therapy
Group therapy may be recommended if your child/teen would benefit from the experience with other children in a similar situation. Some examples include teen support groups and divorce groups. Please check with your clinician to see which groups are currently offered in the greater community or with us.
How involved will I be in my adolescent’s therapy sessions? What can you tell me?
It all depends. Some children/teens get angry when their parent “takes over” their time with me. They never want their therapist to meet with their parent, so we often schedule separate appointments or brief phone calls to discuss how their child/teen is doing. Sometimes, we make it a routine to meet with a parent at the start of the session to “check in” about the week (mainly when working with younger children). Your therapist will figure out what works best for your child.
Teenagers DO NOT like it when parents get overly involved in therapy. They see it as their relationship and their time. We respect this. If your teen thinks we are always talking, we can assure you they will NOT talk to us as candidly. However, we tell the teens we must “touch base” with parents occasionally.
We will not break confidentiality unless it is the case where a child/teen tells us they are going to harm themselves or someone else, or in the case of reported child abuse.
If your child tells us they are sending inappropriate pictures on their cell phone or computer or receiving these images, we will say to you (or ask your child to tell you with me there). This is considered child pornography and is illegal (even if it is being sent between two consenting teens). We recommend that parents “randomly” inspect their child’s cell phone, Facebook page, bedrooms, and cars.
Computers need to be in “public” areas in the house, or your child should know that you will check in every 10 minutes while they are online. Your child has a right to privacy to an extent. Their health and safety are the most important thing. You should know passcodes, and your child should know that you will periodically (not every day) check to ensure things are OK.
Can you help us deal with our teens’ school?
Yes. We have much experience getting accurate information from teachers and staff regarding your child’s behavior, mood, and academic progress at school. Often, teachers are more candid with therapists because they want the child to get the help they need and don’t want to “offend” the parents.
We can observe your child’s school and attend IEP (Individualized Education Plans) meetings on your child’s behalf, talk to your child’s school counselor about ways to help with social/emotional issues at school, and help with organizational and time strategies for schoolwork and homework, also known as executive functioning coaching. We can also recommend school legal advocates if you are concerned about your child’s school placement or funding.
Suppose your child needs psychological testing for a possible learning disorder, ADHD (attention disorder), IQ testing, and other issues impacting their ability to learn and perform at school. In that case, we can provide high-quality psychological and psychoeducational assessment and testing services.
It seems my daughter has ADHD, but her dad disagrees with me. I think he is skeptical about the medications. I want some answers, even though I have my own reservations about medicating her.
Girls with ADHD can look very different than boys. As a result, many girls’ diagnoses go unrecognized, as well as their emotional needs, adjustments to their environment, and associated school accommodations. Here is a fun and straightforward video that summarizes the differences nicely.
Do you offer therapy sessions for parents alone?
Of course! You may want to come and talk about your child to get some advice on handling a particular situation. You may want to know, “Is this normal?” or “Did I say or do the right thing?”
Often, parents want to talk to someone when they have decided they are separating/divorcing from their spouse and don’t know how to tell their children. They may want to know what things they can do to help in the transition of two homes or a new significant other entering their child’s life. Just so you know, we do not conduct custody evaluations for the courts. However, we can refer you to a professional who does this service if needed.
Finally, you may want to know how to help your child make friends or convince your teenage daughter that she is dating the wrong person. We can also help if you need guidance in setting rules and boundaries with your younger child or teenager.
We have extensive experience and good ideas for counseling parents. Sometimes, coming in without your child to see us is the best first step. Call us to discuss how we can partner with you to support your teen.
Minimum* Age Accepted | Clinician |
| Preschoolers/Elementary/Middle & HS (2-16) | Daniela Nogales, LCPC |
| Elementary and above (5+) | Elsy Estrada, LCSW-C |
| Elementary and Middle (5-12) | Jessica Stutzman, PhD |
| Elementary and Middle & HS (5+) | Jacy Perkins, PMH, CNS-BC |
| Elementary and above (6+) (Testing and Assessment) | Julie Mudryj, PsyD |
| Elementary and above (6+) (Testing and Assessment) | Briana Cerami-Guarino, PsyD |
| Elementary and above (6+) (Testing and Assessment) | Jessica Stutzman, PhD |
| Elementary and above (6+) | Megan Burleson, PhD |
| Elementary and above (5+) | Jolene Drblik, PsyD |
| Elementary to college-aged (6+) | Joshua Coming Soon |
| Elementary and above (10+) | Jacqueline Flores, LCSW-C |
| Middle and High Schoolers (15+) (Psychotherapy & Executive Functioning Coaching) | Megan Burleson, PhD |
| Middle and High Schoolers and above (for Medication Mgmt only) | Brent Donmoyer, PMHNP |
| Elementary and above 10+ (for Medication Mgmt only) | Adrian Kress, M.D. |
| High Schoolers and above (13+) | David Rodriguez, PsyD |
| High Schoolers and above (14+) | Robert Chase, PhD |
| High Schoolers and above (Psychotherapy) | Julie Mudryj, Psy.D. |
Our office is in Gaithersburg, Maryland. We are a close drive from North Potomac, Potomac, Poolesville, Clarksburg, and Rockville folks. Map the drive time from your house to our office and see for yourself!
Do you have your very own frequently asked questions about therapy for your teen (FAQ)? Please reach out to us with your questions; we welcome the opportunity to help you think it through.
It's not an easy time to be a kid. Perhaps it never is, but now it's especially true. Let us help you understand and support your child's needs.
Is your teen struggling with school, in their relationships with friends, with you? Do they seem irritable, withdrawn, unmotivated, sad? Our therapist know how to help.
Are you looking to make some aspect of your otherwise good relationship better? Maybe you’ve tried all the strategies that make sense to you.