Affair Recovery

Have you cheated or been cheated on?

Are you trying to get over infidelity or an affair with your partner? Are you wondering if the hurt, mistrust, and suspicion will ever disappear?

Have your repair attempts seemed to help temporarily, only to find yourself or your spouse sliding back into anger or despair?

Perhaps you’ve sometimes doubted whether your betrayed partner will EVER get past this. Maybe you fear it will hang over you two forever, like a dark cloud that sullies or dooms the relationship.

Are you reluctant to seek help at your place of worship because you fear being labeled “an adulterer” or because of the stigma associated with “adultery?”

Have you wondered if saving your relationship and returning to a sense of peace and mutual love is possible? Questioning, “Does she still love me?” Or “Does he even want to be with me anymore?”

You’re Not Alone

There’s reason to hope. Your relationship can recover from an affair. Husbands and wives can find their way back to each other if both individuals are willing to do the work.

And there is certainly plenty of “help” nearby. You’ll find numerous Psychology Today listings of clinicians offering, among MANY other services, affair recovery counseling by listing “Infidelity” under the issues they treat.

But . . . BUYER BEWARE, most graduate degree programs and Maryland state licensure requirements for Psychologists, Social Workers, LCPC (counselors), Marriage and Family Therapists, and Psychiatrists do not require a single course on this topic. When you see a Psychology Today listing saying “Verified,” know that this means their licensure is “legit,’ the specialty areas listed are just boxes that the provider checks when they sign up for this PAID referral service listing.

Therefore, it is essential that you pre-screen any professional you are considering for help during this crisis since the relationship is likely currently in its most fragile state.


Here are some questions you might ask when screening potential therapists after the discovery of a betrayal, infidelity, or affair/liaison:

1) Have you ever taken any specific coursework on affairs or how to help couples therapeutically after infidelity?

2) Do you have any certification in specific couples therapy forms?

3) How many couples have you helped through the crisis of an affair?

4) How do you address the needs of the hurt and the wayward partner in the therapy process?

5) How do you define “success” in these cases? 


Contact us at Kentlands Psychotherapy for more information at 240-252-3349 ext. 807 to discuss which of our Couples Therapists might be right for you and your partner, all of whom have excellent training and experience helping couples recover from betrayal.  Many offer private daytime, evening, and weekend hours.

Request Appointment


Are you the partner having or having an affair, trying to decide what to do next? Read here for suggestions on how to think through the issues.

Should you tell your partner about the affair? Or offer additional details about the experience? Read more here for answers to your questions.

Books you may find helpful

shirley-glass-book

NOT “Just Friends” by Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D.

According to Dr. Shirley Glass, “the godmother of infidelity” (The New York Times), people today cheat on their spouses more than ever before—especially in the workplace. Dispelling common myths with compelling new research and case studies, NOT “Just Friends” is a groundbreaking chronicle of what occurs before, during, and after an affair: the danger signs, the vulnerabilities of even good marriages, and the step-by-step road to healing and protecting monogamy in the aftermath.


after-the-affair-book

After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful by Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D.

There is nothing quite like the pain and shock caused when a partner has been unfaithful. The hurt partner often experiences a profound loss of self–respect and falls into a depression that can last for years. For the relationship, infidelity is often a death blow.

After the Affair is the first book to help readers survive this crisis. It was written by a clinical psychologist treating distressed couples for 22 years. The book guides both hurt and unfaithful partners through the three stages of healing: normalizing feelings, deciding whether to recommit and revitalizing the relationship. It provides proven, practical advice to help the couple change their behavior toward each other, cultivate trust and forgiveness, and build a healthier, more conscious, intimate partnership.


“Trying to recover without discussing the betrayal is like waxing a dirty floor.” – Shirley Glass, Ph.D.

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