“That’s Not Fair!”- Navigating Summer Camp Scheduling With Multiple Kids

Q: “I’m struggling with feelings of guilt around scheduling my kids’ various summer camps. Managing the logistics and trying to satisfy everyone’s desires is stressing me out! My older one’s equestrian interests always seem to get priority in both budget and scheduling. I feel bad about my other kids always having to compromise and work around it. Help!”

A: That’s a toughie! Dr. Jill Jacobson, our Parenting Therapist, suggests the following. Give yourself some grace and recognize that this aspect of parenting is tricky for many of us. Having to navigate different kids’ schedules and interests while also considering what you, as the parent, can manage is a lot to figure out. Practice compassion for yourself – there’s no perfect summer plan, and you’re doing your best, given the circumstances!

Focus on your family’s values. What comes to mind about the summer you want for everyone? Some common themes she’s heard from parents include connection (family relationships, time together, time with friends), relaxation/break (time away from the busy-ness of the school year, less running around, more free time), and fun (getting to do activities that you enjoy, time to play).

Remember, our needs and wants don’t always come first when we’re part of a family. Compromise is inevitable, but this doesn’t mean one child’s preferences should consistently overshadow the other’s. Do our best to strive for equity with our children and talk with them about your decision process. Equity means that everyone in the family gets what they need, whereas, with equality, everyone receives the same thing.

Create an optimal and fulfilling summer schedule by respecting each family member’s needs and preferences and emphasizing connection, relaxation, and fun, aiming for equity over equality.