How to Bring the Romance Back to Your Valentine’s Day

March 7, 2020

Blog, Couples Therapy, Gottman Relationship Check-up, Marriage Counseling, The Laudable Life

Originally published in our Laudable Life advice column in the Lakelands Leader

Every year we receive several questions about Valentine’s Day. Many of them boil down to: “How can we bring back the zest to this holiday?” Here are three simple tips for making this Valentines Day a special one, no mater what you’re doing that day, or how much you’re spending, or whether you’ve been dating for six months or married for 12 years (or just sharing the day with your bestie!).

1. Be in the Moment: Keep your cell on silence if possible. Consider leaving the phone number for your restaurant with the sitter and keep yours on Do Not Disturb. If you’re using a sitter, tell her you will be “rounding [her] pay to the quarter hour.” This way no one is clock watching, tempted to race home just to avoid paying for another hour.

2. Show Interest: Show interest in something that your loved one has been “into” lately. A special project a work, a new hobby, new friend, or a new workout. Tap into your curiosity so you’re able to ask engaging follow-up questions. Don’t interrogate, just let yourself be genuinely curious.

3. Share Your Appreciation: Tell your loved one what you value about him or her in your life and about what unique contributions he or she makes to your relationship or to your family’s life. Be specific, give examples.

By being present, interested, and appreciative you’ll do your part to make this holiday a good one.