Advice Column: Helping Your Child With Their Fear Of Dogs

Q: We have a five-year-old. Because I’m allergic, we don’t have a dog, although I wish we could. Our daughter seems to be developing a fear of dogs. She cries and clings to me when we’re passing neighborhood dogs. How can I support her so that this doesn’t become a lifelong problem?

A: Start by naming what’s happening without amplifying it. Crying and clinging is her nervous system’s way of showing you she feels unsafe. Here are some tips from our child and animal-assisted therapy team.

Don’t force contact before she’s ready. Declining a playdate or insisting it happen at your house because a dog will be at the other house doesn’t reinforce her fear. It’s just sending her the message that you’re honoring her limits. That trust is what makes the next steps more successful.

At home, without a dog present, teach her about dogs and how to be safe around them. Show her pictures or videos of calm dogs and excited ones, and name the differences: a loose wagging tail versus a stiff one, a relaxed mouth versus a tense one. Teach her to always ask the handler for permission before approaching an unfamiliar dog. Kids handle uncertainty better when they have information to sort it with.

Practice a simple calming skill together, like slow breathing or noticing her feet on the floor, so she has skills to lean on when she starts to feel scared.

When she’s ready, and that timeline is hers, arrange exposure to one calm, low-energy dog at a distance she chooses. Let her set the pace: watching first, then standing near, then maybe a hand close to the dog’s side. Size and energy hit different kids differently. Some are more rattled by a big dog, others by a bouncy small one. Notice which matters more to her before picking your first practice dog.

Your allergy doesn’t take you out of the picture. Borrow a calm dog from a relative or friend for these sessions, so she has both support and structure.

This kind of fear responds well to patience and gentle, unpressured support. Five is a good age to build it.

Originally published in the Lakelands Leader, August 2026.

For more information about treating dog phobia, visit our page here.