Should we let our son play tackle football?

Q: My son plays flag football, which I’ve been okay with, but now that he’s about to start high school, he wants to try out for the school’s tackle football team. I know this isn’t the NFL, but I can’t stop thinking about the risks involved, like concussions, and how they can lead to CTE. My husband is all in, and I don’t want to step on my son’s dreams, but I’m worried for his safety.  Am I just overblowing the risks?

A: These are the most challenging parenting dilemmas because there’s not much room for compromise; he either plays or he doesn’t. So you and your husband will have to work together to decide what is in your son’s best interest. The transition from middle school to high school can be a challenging time for both teens and parents. On the one hand, you want to keep your son safe, but on the other hand, you likely want him to live life to let him begin to make his own decisions.

Not only are you feeling the pressure from your husband and son, but there is a social pull as well. High school football is an American tradition, a right of passage, a potential confidence builder, and a fast track to popularity and being a “heart throb” at school. You likely hate the idea of depriving him of any of these things.

Unfortunately, your concerns are real and should not be minimized. Current research demonstrates that brain damage has occurred in kids who participate in tackle football as young as middle schoolers. Brain autopsies of some high school football players have shown measurable brain damage. One of the problems is that players don’t always report head injuries. Many downplay their concussion symptoms for fear of being benched. At your son’s age, his frontal lobes, the part of the brain that deals with judgment, problem solving, impulse control, emotional regulation, and conscience, among many other functions, are still developing. So there’s a lot riding on this decision. Bring to your family discussion your concerns, your research, your humility, and your compassion. Ask them to do the same. Good luck in your decision-making process, and see our extended blog version for links to the research referenced in this column.