Refusing Swim Team Practice. Help!

Question:

My rising third grader enthusiastically joined the Lakelands Lionfish but is now refusing to go to swim practices. How can I encourage them to stick with it?

Answer:

It’s challenging when a child backs away from commitments, especially when they initially showed excitement. Dr. Jessica Stutzman, our Psychological Associate and child CBT therapist suggests the following strategies you can use at home to help address this concern:

Explore Feelings and Thoughts

Start by helping your child express their feelings about the swim team. You can do this through conversation, or for younger children, drawing might help them articulate their emotions better. Once their feelings are out in the open, gently explore the thoughts behind these. For example, if they say they’re afraid, probe a bit: “What are you afraid might happen at practice?” This opens up a dialogue about their fears or possible misconceptions, which can be addressed more directly once understood.

Cognitive Reframing

Help your child replace negative thoughts about the swim team with more positive ones. If they say, “I’m the worst on the team,” you can help them see a different perspective: “Everyone starts somewhere, and every time you practice, you’re getting better!” This reframing can help reduce the anxiety or embarrassment they might be feeling.

Set Small, Achievable Goals

Breaking down the overwhelming task of “going to swim practice” into smaller, more manageable goals can make it seem less daunting. Encourage your child to set a small goal for the next practice, like “Let’s just stay in the water for the first part of practice and see how it feels.” Celebrate these small victories extensively to build their confidence and commitment.

Using these strategies, you can help your child navigate their reluctance and reinforce a positive mindset towards their activities and commitments. Consistency and patience are vital in helping your child grow and learn from these experiences.