Will My Girls Ever Be Close?
Q: I’m very close with my sister. I was sure my girls would be the same. Sadly, they’re not. It’s fighting, ignoring, and avoiding. My husband says not to sweat it, but I can’t help but wonder if they will ever be close.
A: Your children’s relationship saddens you, but remember, sibling rapport is intricate and can evolve. Here’s a guide from child therapist Elsy Estrada to help you tip that scale.
- Prioritize Kindness and Respect:
While close friendship between siblings is lovely, it’s crucial to emphasize kindness and respect above all else. Encourage your children to treat each other with empathy and consideration. Remind them that while they may not always agree, treating one another well is non-negotiable. These values form a strong foundation for any relationship, and by practicing them at home, you’re teaching your children how to interact positively with others beyond the family.
- Step in to Teach Conflict Resolution:
Mediating conflicts between your children while they’re young, is essential, helping them acquire valuable conflict-resolution skills. However, the goal is not to solve every disagreement but to empower them to handle conflicts independently as they grow. Guiding them to understand each other’s perspectives and finding a compromise equips them with essential life skills and encourages self-sufficiency.
- Create an Environment for Future Friendship:
Remember, a friendship grows over time, including sibling bonds. While they aren’t best friends now, nurturing a foundation of kindness and respectful communication increases the chance of a closer connection later. Encourage shared activities to kindle common interests and allow their relationship to evolve naturally.
Instilling kindness and respect as core values will teach your children conflict resolution and will promote independent problem-solving, equipping them to build healthy relationships, not only with each other but with others.
Elsy Estrada
This article was originally published as a Laudable Life advice column in the Lakelands Leader September 2023 addition.
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