Q: I’m in the middle of a difficult divorce. My attorney calls it “high conflict.” I’m six months into this and still have a long way to go. I feel my family and friends are exhausted hearing about it. My attorney suggested a divorce coach. What can a divorce coach do for me that I’m not already getting from my therapist and attorney?
A: We’re so glad you asked. Divorce Coaching is a profession that supports individuals and couples as they contemplate, are in the midst of, and even after divorce. Kentlands Psychotherapy’s Cherie Morris, JD, herself a Certified Divorce Coach, says “A coach is an objective thinking partner, whose only agenda is supporting you, and is someone who is never ‘worn out’ from thinking/talking about your divorce in the way family and friends can be.” A divorce coach can offer you resources in the legal, emotional, and financial arenas and can teach you how to best use those resources as needed. With a coach at your side you won’t need to waste your money processing your emotional issues with your lawyer while still benefiting from the additional expertise on divorce matters you generally can’t get when talking with your therapist.
A divorce coach begins by understanding your situation, and your values, to help you create a mindset and action plan in line with your priorities in divorce. You will learn to understand the “noise” of divorce and how to begin to move beyond it and communicate better with your spouse or co-parent. Your divorce coach will also hold you “gently accountable” when your actions do not fall in line with your values, established at the beginning of the relationship, and help you return your behavior to your best self.
In sum, a divorce coach can save you money and emotional distress while offering practical and concrete steps to help you begin to live the life you and your children deserve.
Originally Published in the Lakelands Leader as our Laudable Life advice column