Q: As I am thinking about New Year’s Resolutions, my goal is to not yell at my kids as frequently. As a working mother, it has been challenging to give my kids attention. By the end of the day, I lose my temper and yell at them. I later feel guilty and eventually apologize to them. However, this yelling-apologizing cycle has gone on too long. How can I stop myself?
A: You’re not alone, lots of parents struggle with this. Dr. Jill Jacobson, a Parenting Coach and Therapist at Kentlands Psychotherapy, recommends having the whole family spend time together without technology. By putting down technology, your family will likely find more time to do bonding activities such as board games, crafts, or just talking about life. By being more connected, you may find that your patience with your children increases. Well-spent family time can help strengthen the relationship and communication within the family, making it less likely for you to lash out at your kids. Another way to reduce yelling is by offering positive remarks toward your kids whenever possible. By developing a habit of positivity, we tend to be more gracious towards people. It can be as simple as recognizing minor accomplishments such as washing the dishes or studying hard for an upcoming test. Many parents feel guilty after yelling at their kids, by making a habit of being positive with your kids you’ll ease the tension when these moments do happen. It is normal to feel guilty after yelling at your kids, but there are things you can do to reduce it. By affirming your children whenever possible and making an attempt to spend quality time together you’ll be making the first steps towards fewer outbursts and less guilt.
