Why won’t my friend just do what I say?

Q: I love dogs so much that I became a vet tech. I have had dogs my whole life, and currently, I have three! My friend has been talking about getting a dog and I have tried my best to warn her about the commitment it entails. She lives alone and is always very busy with her job. She’s never had a dog, and when she talked to me about getting one, she seemed to have very unrealistic expectations. Despite my advice, she got a puppy anyway, saying she would have more time for it because it’s summer. As I expected, she is unprepared and is constantly calling me for advice. Honestly, I’m annoyed with her. What can I do?

A: I can see how your friend ignoring your recommendation and going against your professional advice is frustrating you and putting a strain on your relationship. Something that I believe could help this situation is to voice your frustrations and concerns clearly, kindly, and respectfully. Communication is so important in relationships; so many relationships suffer when communication breaks down. Though it might seem daunting, tell your friend how you feel about her ignoring your advice to not get a dog, and how her frequent asking for your advice is frustrating to you. To ease this, you could both agree she seeks advice from a different source (her vet, blogs, YouYube, etc.). Most of all, remember that her choices, though it might seem like it, are not coming from a place of malice. She is seeking your advice as a trusted resource whose knowledge and opinion she values. Finally, consider wishing her all the best with her new puppy and try to release it from your mind.

Originally posted in the Lakelands Leader on August 2022