Needing Privacy From Your Spouse

Originally published in our Laudable Life advice column in the Lakelands Leader

Q: I am a stay at home housewife. My husband recently started working from home and is now with me all the time. I feel like I lost my sense of privacy, the ability to have my own free time alone, and my husband is driving me crazy! What should I do?

A: Sometimes feeling intruded upon or cramped when a spouse retires or begins working from home is an indication that there is a problem in the relationship. You’re probably thinking, No kidding KP, I could have told you that! You can likely name the issues too, so it’s more important than ever to start addressing them.

If you can’t quite put your finger on the issue, then step one is to get some clarity. In any case, professional guidance can help. Here is some advice from our new couples clinician, Dr. Rafaella Peter:

Changes in employment calls for adaptations and flexibility. The transition can be helped by implementing new routines. Take some time for self care and meet friends, go to the gym, volunteer, or enjoy a walk around the neighborhood.

It would be ideal if your husband has his designated office away from everyone elses’ rooms for privacy. You might see him during lunch time or for intermittent breaks, yet he will spend the majority of his time behind his desk. Don’t forget that he likely feels isolated now that he’s no longer working in a normal office space. Keep the positive aspects of working from home in mind. No more commute means more family time!

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