Do you have a friendship that has drifted into a gray area?

Are you concerned about a relationship between your spouse and a co-work that seems a little too close?

Have you had a few innocent lunches and an occasional text “here and there” with a colleague and now your wife is calling it an “emotional affair?”

Do you keep telling your partner that her continued friendship with her ex is weird, abnormal, and overly close, but she just doesn’t seem to “get it” and won’t change her behavior with this guy?

If you can relate to any of these concerns, or something similar, you or your partner has likely strayed into a relationship that’s probably making someone uncomfortable. If either of you are not feeling safe in the situation something needs to be addressed, empathized with, and likely changed. Often the best and most efficient way to do this is for the both of you to see a couples therapist together and do just that. In many cases, if a couple is able to address the concern early in the process it can be resolved quickly with minimal damage.

If on the other hand, your partner is unwilling to come to therapy to discuss your concern, take heart; you can still explore the issue with a therapist, do some reality checking, and get some advice on how to precede with your partner on a path toward resolving the matter. Call Dr. Elizabeth Carr at 240-252-3349 Ext. 801, our Senior Adult and Infidelity Therapist to see how she or one of our other couples therapy specialists can help. Ask us about our special weekend and evening hours for couples.

If your relationship is in crisis over this issues, see our Affair Recovery page for details on what to do next. If however you’re in a complicated relationship and are trying to figure out what to do next, visit our Affair Ambivalence page to further advice. We serve the surrounding communities of North Potomac, Potomac, Bethesda, Rockville, Darnstown, Olney, Germantown and Clarksburg.

Emotional Affair Self-Test

    If you have 1-3 checks, It's time to do some self-reflection about what is going on. If you have 4-6 checks, start learning more about emotional affairs. You may be in one. If you have 7 or more checks, seek help, IMMEDIATELY if you want to avoid a marital crisis and/or an ugly divorce!
    Any checks in this section are a RED FLAG for an emotional affair. The lower the checks are on the list, the more serious the situation.
    Checked boxes in this section are an indication of MARITAL DISTRESS and should be addressed in couples therapy whether there is an outside person involved or not.
    Checks in this section indicate your level of EMOTIONAL INVESTMENT in the relationship with this other person. In other words how deep you're in. If you have 1-2 checks you're in a vulnerable place. Honestly with and support from a trusted friend or relative is critical. If you have 3 or more checks, you're in the danger zone. Seek help from an affair specialist.
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