Affair Ambivalence & Infidelity Counseling and Coaching

Are you dealing with affair confusion or infidelity ambivalence?

Are you in a situation where your heart is with someone else? Perhaps it’s not about the “heart.” Maybe it’s not an affair of the heart. Perhaps it’s just about the sex. Whatever it may be, you’re likely confused and may be ambivalent. We think of it as affair confusion or affair ambivalence. That’s because it’s a myth that people in affairs always think of leaving their primary partner for their new love. It’s rarely that straightforward.

In any case, if you are in a secret affair, have a “mistress,” or are in an outside relationship with another man, your life is likely fraught with various powerful emotions and complex situations for which counseling can help.

Should I Tell My Spouse?

If your partner doesn’t know about the infidelity or is unaware of your affair partner, you may ask yourself, “Do I want them to know? Maybe that would help me get out of my marriage. Or perhaps it would help me to end the affair.” Should you tell? (Read here) Have you been reckless in your risk-taking and near misses, perhaps hoping to get caught?

Maybe the relationship has already ended, it’s on a break, or it’s teetering on the rocks. Should you pretend it never happened? Perhaps you’ve wondered, “Can I mourn the loss of this relationship without my partner ever noticing?” Has trying to do so made you feel like your head will explode or you’re going crazy?

Sex with My Spouse is So Confusing

Does sex or intimacy at home with your long-term companion or spouse make you feel like you’re betraying or cheating on your affair partner? And “no”, that’s not strange at all. That’s very common.

Feeling Desperate?

The odds are that you’re confused and have gone in circles in your head with these questions. Maybe you’ve been thinking, “I want to end this fling, but I’m afraid the other woman (or other men) will “out us” to my wife (or husband).” Perhaps a lover’s implied threats have felt like blackmail to keep you in the relationship. If so, you’re likely feeling trapped in an affair you wish would disappear.

In extreme cases, people have fantasized about hiring a hitman or ending their lives. The good news is, you don’t have to “go there.” You can sort these issues out with someone who cares about you and the people in your life.

I Need to Talk to Someone. Now!

Have you tried to let the fire of your affair die out naturally, only to have it flare up repeatedly? Maybe there is no one in your life you can confide in about what’s been going on. Perhaps you’re hiding everything from everyone because you don’t want them to know about your situation or judge you. Unfortunately, trying to make sense of it all can be incredibly complex, and without the right help, your thoughts may remain jumbled. Individual therapy or coaching can help you decide how you feel about each relationship and, if need be, how to best begin to extract yourself from a difficult situation.

Private therapy or coaching with an experienced infidelity specialist can be beneficial. The relationship therapists and coaches at Kentlands Psychotherapy do not pass judgment, and your time here is confidential. Confiding in an expert can give you the support you need and the precise guidance you seek.

We have extensive experience with individuals grappling with infidelity issues, including confiding about an undisclosed outside romance, affair confusion and uncertainty, liaison extraction planning, emotional affairs, betrayal discovery crises, and infidelity recovery counseling, including the aspects of “Should we still get married?” and, “Should we stay together or get divorced?” decision-making counseling. We’ve worked with many people in your shoes.

You’re not alone. Let’s figure this out together.

 

Are you outside the Gaithersburg or Montgomery County, Maryland, area? You don’t need to worry.
We offer encrypted telemedicine appointments.

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