Many women find that six weeks of leave is simply not long enough.  Not long enough to feel established with nursing, not long enough to convert a tenuous nursing relationship to a partial bottle feeding regimen, not long enough to bond with your baby, and not long enough to recover (emotionally, physically, psychologically) from a C-section.  Basically, six weeks is just not long enough. 

Consider asking your chain of command now, even if you’re just in your second trimester, for the option to burn personal leave at the end of your maternity leave, should you need it.  Getting that “on the record” now may clear the way to an easier approval later and avoid any last minute heartache or panic in the fifth week when you start feeling uneasy about returning to work.

 In my experience, no matter how emotionally distraught a woman might feel about returning to work, a military mental health provider will not have the power to help her extend maternity leave to spend additional time needed to bond with her baby or to get back to "feeling herself."   In even the most extreme cases, a woman with a diagnosis of Post-Partum Depression, for example, might be put on a limited duty board.  Even that would require her to return to work of some sort.  The only time I have ever seen a new mother taken entirely out of work was when she required an in-patient hospitalization.  And no one wants that, unless of course it's really needed.  So it really behooves you to be proactive and plan ahead to take care of yourself and your emotional health.  Give yourself permission to view burning a bit of personal leave as a worthy use of the leave you’ve earned.  

It is very common for women to feel “unexpected” emotions of depression and anxiety prior to and after the birth of a child.  If you find, or a love one has expressed concern, that you are experiencing something more than passing baby blues, give yourself permission to ask for help.  I recommend you consider speaking with your OB/GYN about what you are experiencing.  He or she is there to help and has training on how to address these types of problems.    If you already have a good relationship with this person, a single visit to "vent" or ask questions (for example about medications and breast feeding) can be all that some women need.  However if you need more support, a mental health provider can be a good resource.

These feelings will pass, but knowing that may not help you today.  Maybe you could use some support now.  After the birth of my son, I turned off the ringer of our home phone for about three months because my stress tolerance was so low.  I didn’t want to deal with routine telephone calls.  I know first-hand that this doesn’t mean you’re “crazy,” but when you are having these feelings, you know something just does not feel right.    I know I wasn’t myself for a while, but it did pass and it will for you too.   

If you are looking for a mental health provider that has a personal appreciation of what you are experiencing, I would be pleased to assist you.  However if you decide to reach out to a mental health provider within the military medical system, and your options are limited, I would recommend you consider a male provider who is a father over a female provider that does not have children. 

Either way, don’t feel you have to “white knuckle it” until it passes.  Help is available through medical and other resources.   I understand what it's like to have emotions after the birth of a child that leave you feeling “not yourself.”  I’ve worked with many women dealing with conditions ranging from mild baby blues to a severe post-partum depression.  In each case, these women got better and eventually returned to feeling themselves again.  If you are having these feelings, you will too.   In the meantime, if I can be of help please let me know.